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Heather ([personal profile] cloudia) wrote on August 24th, 2015 at 09:47 am
Baba Yaga (reversed)
 Baba Yaga (Reversed) - Authenticity: ahhh, how this deck of cards knows me. I woke up today feeling like I was at a turning point. Choose. Choose. I cannot turn back. Too many sacrifices have been made. Now this is easier said than done, but necessary. I have 2 paths in front of me and one must traveled. I can't do both. But as I accept this, there is fear. And this card talks about fear. Fear of being oneself, your true self, and when you avoid being your true self (out of fear) you become an evil monster, just like Baba Yaga. Baba's reputation was ruined thanks to xtianity. She became a wonderful lore, to an evil monster of nightmares. Perhaps I too, have spent so long fighting off people's bullshit, that out of fear I've at times been a monster. There are rare nights that I see the old me. The fun me who doesn't give a shit. But always some days later the fear sets in, that being her again, will only bite me in the ass once again. But I know at this turning point, it's time to give the middle finger to everyone and live my life. Again, easier said than done. 

Spider - Weaving: the web of life. This card is a reminder to create. Look for new alternatives (already in motion my dear cards, I'm working on it). Also a reminder that something I have been working on his borne fruit, but I may miss it because I'm too busy trying to build my life. This is true. I worry too much sometimes and I don't always focus on my achievements. I guess it's a learned response. When I mention to people that I've interned on indie films, recorded audio of our state governor speaking (standing 6 feet from her), or that I do photography and art, I usually hear silence. It appears that most people around me only want to bitch about how unhappy they are, or who is fucking who, or drama monger. I do need to remind myself how much I have achieved, and be thankful for it. Instead of allowing the "normal" dull people I attempt to know reduce me to their level. Perhaps this is where yesterdays card on boundaries is at. No body wants to be around miserable people who don't have their life together.  

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